Sex between two people who are very attracted to each other feels good and leads to satisfaction and happiness. It’s even better when your partner really enjoys having sex with you because she’s able to climax and have an orgasm. Women enjoy having orgasms just as much as men do, but for some reason, it happens less frequently. For many women, it takes longer to climax than it does for men. Women’s bodies and minds are triggered and turned on in different ways than men’s bodies and minds are, too.
Reasons women tend to climax less often than men
First, let’s be clear that women who masturbate can climax or have orgasms just as frequently as men can. This article is discussing how to make a girl have an orgasm through mutual sex, including touching and intercourse.
Pain is a primary reason that women tend not to orgasm as often during intercourse with a man. To be sure, women want to have orgasms. But if there is pain, the mind and body are going to react to the pain instead of to the pleasure of the sex. Pain is distracting, and for a climax or orgasm to happen, a woman has to be able to focus.
Pain can also prevent a woman from being fully lubricated, and that will lead to dry sex. If past sexual experiences have been painful, it’s possible for a woman to instinctively tighten her vagina, making sex with you difficult and painful, possibly for both of you.
Lack of trust
Many women feel the need to trust you before having sex with you. Even if a woman agrees to have sex with you, that doesn’t mean she fully trusts you. You’ll know whether or not she does by how her body responds to your touch. If she is clenched tight or resistant to touch, there’s probably a lack of trust that’s keeping her closed off.
Distraction/Lack of focus
Men seem to have an easier time turning off the distractions of life in order to focus on sex with a woman for a few minutes. But not all women are able to turn off every life to focus on sex with you. If a woman is very distracted by family, such as children, or work, she may not be fully committed to having sex in that moment.
Dry vaginal walls or low libido
Dry sex is painful, but the issue is even bigger than that. If a woman isn’t fully turned on and ready for sex, or, if she’s not able to get wet enough, that will seriously impact the quality of sex that you have. The sex will likely be painful, and neither of you will enjoy it very much. She could want to have sex in her mind, but her body may not be responding to it, meaning she has a low libido.
Antidepressants or medication
Some medications, such as antidepressants, are linked to lower libido in both women and men. These drugs suppress emotional reactions of all kind, good and bad. They can also lower blood pressure and heart rate. These medications are designed to stabilize reactions in the body. If your partner is taking medications that lower libido, that could be the primary reason she is not having orgasms with you as much as you would like, or, it could prevent her from climaxing when she really would like to.
How to make a girl have an orgasm in six steps
Women’s bodies are dramatically different from men. Clearly, the appearance is different, but the way an orgasm is experienced and how it is triggered can be different, too. If you want to make sure your partner has a great orgasm, follow these six easy steps.
Step 1. Enhance the mood
While it’s true that sometimes a good fight can lead to good sex, if you’re trying to make sure your partner has an orgasm, make sure you pay attention to the mood. If you’ve got something to apologize for, make sure you say that you’re sorry. Help clean up after dinner, or do some chores before she gets home. That way, her mind won’t be distracted with other things.
Use scented candles or candle wax warmers in a fragrance like rose, vanilla, orange, or sweet fragrances like candy, apple cinnamon, or honey. Try to make sure any unappealing fragrances are away from the bed or wherever it is you want to have sex. Scents are a huge part of the experience and if used well, can be an aphrodisiac.
Music, dancing, discussion, or laughter can also be great preludes to awesome sex with orgasms. Anything that gets the two of you on the same page together is the best start.
Step 2. Admire her body
Most women want to be admired physically. It’s natural for a woman to want to know she is beautiful to you. If you’re having sex with a woman for the first time and you want to be sure she has an orgasm, pay attention to her body. Make sure that she sees you looking at her breasts, shoulders, neck line, face, legs, butt, and vagina.
Step 3. Touch and play with her erogenous zones
You cannot rush the sexual experience with a woman if you really want to give her an orgasm. Yes, some women will want to rush right in and have intercourse, but many will need to be fully turned on first. This is also the best way to avoid things like dry vaginal walls.
Erogenous zones are everywhere on both men and women, but on a woman there are a few key areas that you should stroke, lightly and passionately.
- Kiss, nibble, and gently suck on the top, bottom, and sides of your partner’s ears. Breathing softly or blowing gently in and around the ear can be a big turn on for women, too. Rubbing the tip of your nose just behind the ear is another way to turn a woman on.
- Gently stroke the sides of her neck with your fingers. First, use one finger, and then two. Go slowly, and extremely lightly.
- Lightly trace her nipples and breasts with your index fingers and thumbs. Some women also respond well to light pinching and squeezing. The more turned on a woman is, the harder her nipples will get. This is an easy way to figure out if she is getting turned on.
- If her nipples respond to your tracing, pinching, or squeezing, another way to turn her on and get her ready for an orgasm is to lick and suck her breasts. While massaging and cupping one breast, lean down and lick around the nipple of the other. Then, gently suck the nipple. As it hardens, suck more intensely. Lightly flicking the nipple with your tongue is another way to bring a woman to a climax. If she is really turned on, it is possible to bring her close to an orgasm just by licking, sucking, flicking her nipples with your tongue.
- Squeeze her inner thighs. You can do this even if her clothes are still on. While sitting or standing behind her, reach around her waist and run your hands down her inner thighs, massaging. Then, squeeze her thighs, moving your hands up toward her vagina, but do not touch her vagina yet. Continue to massage and squeeze the inner thighs. There are several nerve endings in the thighs that trigger sexual response. This is another way to get your woman very wet and prepare her for penetration.
Step 4. Get skin to skin without penetration
All too often, men and women miss the benefit of the touch of a partner’s skin without intercourse. If you want to know how to make a girl have an orgasm, this is one of the fastest ways. Lay naked together on a bed or floor, and pull her body toward yours. The full length of your body and penis should be against her, and she should be able to feel your erection. Everything from your neck and face to your feet should be in contact with your partner’s skin. This is a good opportunity to kiss, which is a great way to continue to build toward an orgasm. Take this opportunity to rub and feel her back, butt, and the crease between her butt and hamstrings. Resist penetration until you know she is fully ready and very wet.
Step 5. Stimulate her clit and vaginal lips with your fingers or tongue
Oral sex isn’t for everyone, so this step can be done with either your tongue or your fingers. Most men go straight to this step when they really shouldn’t. Touching a woman’s bare clit without her being wet is distracting and for some women, painful. If you touch her clit and she is not wet yet, lick or suck your fingers to get them very wet and then rub your saliva all over and around her clit and vaginal lips. Don’t do this step without doing a few of the others first, or else you’ll risk her having sex with you without having an orgasm.
Here is a tip: do not go too quickly. Even if she is beginning to moan or show signs that she is ready to climax, she might not actually be there yet. When rubbing and touching her clit, go slow and only speed up if she wants you to.
Always apply a little pressure to the clit. Press into the top of her clit with your finger, and then while pressing inward, rub up and down slightly. Be careful not to irritate it.
Step 6. Penetrate her a little at first, and then fully
Another thing to think about for how to make a girl have an orgasm is teasing her. Insert just the tip of your penis and see her reaction. If she is fully wet and ready to have sex, she will want more than just the tip. For a few thrusts, push just the head of your penis into her vagina and then pull it all the way out. The next few thrusts, push the head of your penis into her vagina and rock back and forth, but do not pull it all the way out. If she begins to try and move your hips so that you enter her further, you are on the right track.
If your partner is very wet and very turned on at this point, you should be able to feel and see her vagina’s moisture. At this point, fully thrust your penis into her vagina as deep as it can go. Deep thrusts followed by shallow ones will help you see how she is responding to the intercourse. Women are generally interested in making you feel like they are enjoying it, so don’t rely on her voice. Instead, watch her facial expressions and how her vagina, hips, and stomach are responding to your penetration. If her stomach is relaxed, hips are open, and vagina is still very wet or getting wetter, continue to thrust deeper, harder, and faster.
If it has been some time and your partner hasn’t climaxed yet, she may be getting tired or it may be painful. Ask if she is okay. If she isn’t, stop, pull out, and lay by her side for awhile. If she is okay, stop thrusting at that point, but don’t pull out. Instead, gently rock back and forth and from side to side. While still inside of her, begin massaging her breasts again, kissing or sucking her nipples, or stroke her face. Only begin actively thrusting again when it is clear that it’s what you both want to do.
The best way to make a girl have an orgasm is just to pay attention to her body. Her body, more than her words or sounds, is the best indicator of whether or not she’s going to climax. Hold off on your own orgasm until she has had hers. Not only will this make your climax stronger, but she’s going to feel appreciated and supported, which will only help you give her an orgasm every time.